Anxiety Level Extreme

Hey guys.

So, I've been under a lot of stress the last few weeks.

1. There was psycho vet who wouldn't treat my dog because she "didn't like my attitude". (Heard from more than one person lately, that this vet acted unprofessionally, and one said unethically with their pets as well.)

2. Then I traveled 3 hrs away to a 24 hr vet... traveled 3hrs back the next morning, only to travel 6hrs to his old vet the same day.

3. my pup's hematocrits would not go down. (Should be 37 to 55%, he was in the 60's.) finally got them down to 56/57 which seems to be his norm... which led to worries of something wrong with his bone marrow.

4. X-rays showed irritation of the stomach and intestines and a black mass in his stomach which could have been a tumor, or a pocket of inflammation... so he had to have an endoscopic biopsy to see if it was cancer, or irritable bowel disease. The one thing that relaxed me was that the vet was seriously leaning towards IBD.

5. Spent $400 on the hotel one week, $400 on a hotel the next week, $440 on his X-rays, $250 on his biopsy, plus all the extras like food, a change of clothes I had to buy since I was there longer than expected, etc. Plus the $140 I owed the vet back home when I got my vet to do what psycho vet wouldn't... plus all of my normal bills. ($200, $104, $75 and $75.) So I'm as broke as one can get right now.

6. Biopsy results come in, and its what I was worried about. Thankfully there is no cancer... there is no long term effects of his bout of illness he gets as all of his cells and organs are functioning perfectly... BUT... (and this is one thing I was concerned about.) They don't have a definitive diagnosis. At the time of the biopsy he had been on the mend... so while there was some inflammation, there wasn't enough to diagnose IBD. There was still enough inflammation and symptoms of IBD to still LEAN that way. But the only way to definitively say for sure is to get a biopsy of his intestines, which they were not able to do during the endoscopic biopsy. It would have to be a more invasive surgical biopsy.

In the mean time, the vet is putting him on a medication for IBD called 'Flagyl"... and a special prescription hypoallergenic food. So if it is IBD and its caused by stress (and he is a high anxiety dog)... the Flagyl will keep everything inside working smoothly. If it's food related, the special diet should remove any of the allergens that can cause IBD. Only way to know is to be on it for a while and do another barium x-ray to see if the inflammation has gone down, or, wait to see if he has another bout of this illness. (which, can be 12 months from now as it seems to only happen 1x a year.)

So yeah, the biopsy results aren't what I wanted to hear. I was hoping for a more definitive, "this is IBD and here's the treatment." but at least it's not cancer, and in general, he's a healthy dog. What ever is causing this (Hopefully IBD) is not doing long term damage. (mostly because I get it treated right away. And perhaps it is IBD and this treatment will work. At least we have a game plan to try.

7. I gained 3 pounds in the 3weeks this has been going on. I've tried to stay on my diet as best I could despite being unprepared for a long out of town emergency... but I still gained. I didn't gain as bad as I thought I was going to.. but 3 pounds up still does not make me happy. I've been working hard today. I only had 1 big meal... and I did a lot of walking around today. Did some cleaning, walked or jogged around during commercial breaks, walked around when talking on the phone, tried to keep moving as much as I could. So we'll see if I can get this back on track.

8. My mom wants to cancel our June island vacation because she's worried about my dog. Which I don't blame her. Yeah it's a year between bouts usually, and yeah he's healthy otherwise, and yeah if it's IBD the meds and food should help... but what if we're on the island and he has a bout of his illness? there are no emergency vets on the island as far as I know, and we'd be stuck till morning to get a ferry back to the mainland. But then, what if he doesn't have another bout of it and we miss going on vacation... which would suck because I have an interview and investigation planned for a haunted theater on the island for the book I'm writing. But my dog's health does come first. So we don't know WHAT to do there.

9. Everything else in my life seems to be at a stand still. I joined Eharmony, Match, Speeddate, Christian Mingle and Catholic match... and have not found one man. Those who message me are over a decade too old, or are just not close to being on the radar of my type... and those who more what I'm looking for in a guy, who I wink at, are obviously not interested cause I never hear back. So I don't know. I feel like, 'what's wrong with me?' that I can't find ONE mutual match on 5 different dating sites. *Sigh* I even lowered my standards to include guys I wouldn't normally consider. It seems every guy is looking for a super model. Not one wants to consider someone whose on the heavier side. Even those who say they do, really don't. When they think of "curvy" and "a few extra pounds" they think of Tyra Banks whose curvy, and is a little thicker than the typical supermodel, but still has an amazing body.

10. My nail tech up and quit on me. (Grr Janet). She took a higher paying job, leaving me with really long acrylic nails in desperate need of filling or being taken off. The hair stylist's daughter is going to apprentice at her salon and take over for the nail girl... but... I'm cautious because her daughter is new, I don't know if she has any experience because I don't think she's college age... so I don't know. I'm willing to try anything once.

But yeah... as you can see, I'm just a mass of stress. Every muscle in my body is so tense, it physically hurts to walk. I'm absolutely miserable right now. Unfortunately, I don't want to say "It's got to get better from here cause it can't get any worse", cause I said that this afternoon, and shortly after some ancient guy almost backs into my car, before going on to almost cause another accident.

Anyway... sorry for venting ya'all. I promise I will get back on track with my diet stuff soon.

<3 Dee

Worst Night of my Life

Okay, so... I was planning on making an update video about how my surgeon re-check went and all the fun stuff that happened while I was out of town... but I figured I need a rant blog first.

 Everyone who has been following my blog knows I have two gosh darn adorable puppies.

The White one is my girl, Yoshi... the black and white one is my boy Dojo. They are my little puddin' bears. I love those dogs. They're my fur kids.

So, Dojo has this disease called HGE (Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis). No one really knows the cause of this illness. Most experts believe it's a genetic disorder they are born with that may or may not ever manifest. If it manifests, it's usually triggered by an outside stimulus like stress, diet, no one really knows for sure.

The one thing they do know is, it manifests itself like a stomach flu. There's vomiting, the inability to keep food down, diarrhea, followed USUALLY by bloody diarrhea. It actually follows the symptoms of the Parvo virus. It is easy to treat, but if left untreated, it can cause death in 24hrs or less. Most of the dogs who have died from HGE were dogs whose owners decided to "wait it out" and "See in the morning", which many people tend to do. Dogs eat all sorts of things not necessarily good for them that causes stomach upset, so whose to know? (My theory is if he's not acting right, vomiting, has diarrhea or blood in either, don't wait no matter what... but that's me.)

The telltale signs of HGE is in the blood work. If everything else is normal except for an elevated Hematocrit, that's HGE. A normal Hematocrit for dogs should be 37 to 55%. Any higher, if all other tests come back negative, you probably are dealing with a case of Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis. HGE is more often seen in dogs ages 2-6, (Yorkies, miniature poodles, Dachshunds, Schnauzers, etc) however, it can effect any breed, age or size of dog, both sexes equally.

It is highly treatable with Sub-q IV fluids if you get it in time. For serious cases, potassium may be added to the fluids, and antibiotics may be needed.

For more information on this disease if you have a dog read this article.

So anyway.

Dojo has HGE. The first time he was diagnosed was in 2010. shortly after dinner, he threw up all his food, which is unusual for him. Dojo has a sensitive tummy, but usually he just throws up a little yellow bile, never undigested food. So that was concerning. Then he kept vomiting until all the was throwing up was mucus. I called the on call emergency vet who is now my regular vet and she said to just see if he stops now that his stomach is empty.

instead of stopping, he started vomiting every 5 minutes. He was so uncomfortable. He kept getting up and sitting down, getting up and sitting down. Yoshi was even concerned, because everywhere he went, she would lay down next to him and clean his face. Finally he started vomiting blood, and the vet had me take him in... where he was diagnosed with HGE. Everything was normal except for his hematocrits which was at 66. (It should be 37 to 55). 300ml of fluids and an over night stay later, he was back to normal.

He had 2 more bouts of HGE, so I became very familiar with the symptoms. See, now, bloody diarrhea like Parvo is a known symptom... but my dog never got bloody diarrhea, he got bloody mucus like vomit. So it manifests itself in more than one way, which some people may not realize. Anyway.

Once again, I knew he was about to have a bout of HGE when he vomited up his food last night. I waited to see if he'd vomit more because it was 3 in the morning and I didn't want to have to wake up the on call vet. (We don't have an emergency hospital, the vets in the area take turns being on call for emergencies.) He vomited again and 5 minutes later one more time. That's when I knew what I was dealing with and I paged the on call vet.

The on call vet called me back and asked how long he had been vomiting. I stated in 15 minutes he had vomited 3 times. She said he could probably wait till 8am and then she could see him if he were still sick. I explained he has HGE and she asked if he had bloody diarrhea and I explained he never does, it's always vomit that turns to bloody vomit. She replied that it didn't sound like HGE to her (like I haven't gone through this 3 times already), and that unless I REALLY felt this HAD to be seen NOW, she'd like to be home in the morning to hug and kiss her kids good morning.

I didn't know what to say, it was a complete kiss off. UNLESS I REALLY felt it HAD to be now... She'd rather be home to hug and kiss her kids in the morning..

IT'S SUNDAY. Her kids don't go to school and minus emergencies she doesn't work. She can't hug and kiss her kids when she gets home? And had she not made such a fuss about it, it takes MAYBE an hour to run the blood work to verify HGE and give the 300ml of fluid needed to treat it. She'd have been home no later than 6am, which I'm sure, her kids would still be sleeping.

Flabbergasted I hung up on her. I honestly didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to even approach such a blow off. She called back 3 times and I finally answered because I needed my dog seen. She got all high and mighty with me about hanging up on her and that "I said I was willing to come out if needed" and blah blah. I tried to calmly explain why I hung up, that (and maybe I was wrong, maybe it was just communicated badly) but I felt she was blowing me off with the whole "Kiss the kids good morning" thing... but she started yelling over me and not letting me make my point. Her favorite saying was "That's not what I said. That's not what I said". Soooo, if you DIDN'T say it... how did I even know you HAD kids lady?

So I hung up on her again. I tried calling around to other vet clinics in driving distance and I only found one on call who was like, "HG what?" as she yawned sleepily. So finally I had to suck it up and call the on call vet back who once again immediately started chastising me for hanging up on her, and how she was "willing" to see my dog and was trying to explain that (though the words "I will see your dog" never made it passed her lips as she was too busy yelling at me for hanging up on her the first time.) Finally because the bitch wouldn't shut up I started screaming into the phone... "MY DOG IS DYING! YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR KIDS IN THE MORNING, I WANT TO SEE MY DOG ALIVE IN THE MORNING! HE IS MY KID! WILL YOU SEE HIM OR NOT?!" she starts yelling back that she always intended too... then the blah blah blah again. so I screamed over her, "WILL YOU SEE MY DOG OR NOT?! I DON'T WANT TO ARGUE WHILE HE'S DYING!"

finally she shut up and agreed to meet me at the clinic. I brought my mom with me as a buffer cause I new someone was going to get punched, and it wasn't going to be me. Dojo threw up on the way there so I had my mom bring him in while I cleaned up.

My mom walked in and the first thing she did was apologize for the situation and the way it was handled... but the dog is the most important thing right now. The vet looked at her and to my mom's astonishment she said... "That's not satisfactory. Your daughter needs to come in an apologize before we do anything."

So my dog is dying and she is being petty wanting an apology from ME when she was the one who started everything by (what I felt was) blowing me off, and then not letting me explain why I was upset and hung up. So I get in there and she stands in front of me all superior like and says, "I deserve an apology." I'm like "Look My dog is sick," "No, no, that's not how this is going to work. You need to apologize to me."

I looked at my mom desperately and apologized begrudgingly. That wasn't good enough for her. She started lecturing me about how she deserved to be treated like a human being and crap. Finally I lost it. I had enough with this psycho. I'm like, "Are you going to help my dog or not? My dog is dying and you want to lecture me?" finally I said, "look, you and my mom don't have any negative feelings towards each other. So just help my dog, I'll sit in the car with my other dog." She once again said, "No, that's now how this is going to work." like she held all the cards. She actually wanted to lecture me on how she deserved to be treated like a human being and get a "heartfelt" apology (because my apology wasn't good enough) before she'd help my dog.

Treat HER like a human being? What about me? First she blows me off and tells me to wait till her precious kids can be kissed good morning, while my dog is puking his guts out every 5 minutes, unless I "really feel I have to come in now". Then when I try to explain how that sounded to me, she's yelling at me for hanging up on her instead of hearing me out... all the while I'm panicking because I know how deadly HGE can be if untreated, I'm stressed out, I'm crying, which is stressing out my dog who is already sick... and she wants ME to treat HER like a human being?

That was the last straw. I pulled my dog out of there and told her point blank, "If my dog dies, it's on your head."

She kept screaming at us to come back and I said, "why the hell would I? You basically said you won't help my dog." She once again started the "That's not what I said" crap. My mom was like, "then we must be having the same hallucination cause I heard the same thing." My mom and I got in the car and took off. Even my mom couldn't believe how petty that woman was. She basically tells my mom who offered her an olive branch with her apology, that she would not even look at Dojo till I came into the building and gave her the apology she wanted.

Desperate, I called my regular vet at home. I didn't know what else to do. I felt really guilty calling her when she wasn't on call... but psycho bitch wasn't going to help unless I got on my hands and knees and kissed her feet. So my vet came out and treated him. My vet did a blood test and saw his Hematocrits were at 61%... so they were high, everything else normal which is HGE like I tried explaining to psycho vet.

Even after all of that, were were still home before 7am. So had psycho vet just came in and treated him without this high and mighty "I'm a human being" crap, she'd have been home long before her kids woke up.

I owe my vet a gift certificate to a restaurant or a bouquet of flowers or something. Haven't decided yet. But she came out when she wasn't even on call, without complaining, or worrying about being home to kiss her kids in the morning, or asking me if it was "really an emergency" that couldn't wait. I'm sure she wasn't happy... I'm sure she was cussing under her breath when she went home, I wouldn't blame her... but at least she did it instead of letting the dog suffer over pettiness.

This is why I miss where I use to live. I love where I live now. I have always felt this is home... but at least where I use to live, there was a 24 hr Emergency vet hospital and none of this "on call" shit. Sad thing is... I need to find an alternative to this psycho for if there is ever an emergency and she's on call again. Much like doctors, we lack vets around here.

anyway... that was my horrible night. Dojo seems to be better with the treatment. He's not as comfortable as I'd like to see him, but at least he's sleeping and he hasn't vomited since about 5am. that's about 8 hours. No food tonight at all, but I may introduce a little sips of water to him later this afternoon to help keep him hydrated. He will be seen again Monday morning at 8:15am. if his hematocrits are normal, I can start re-introducing food along with a Zantac, if it's still a little high, he'll get more fluids and we'll go from there.

But so far, everything seems like it's getting better now. (knock on wood with a few prayers.)